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There’s an old saying that “nice guys finish last.” If you’re someone who believes in karma and being a decent human being, you’ll still strive to be a nice guy. However, being “nice” doesn’t have to be bland and boring. Use these five tips to keep your edge and appeal to the opposite sex:

i) Find and Pursue Your Passions: A man who knows what he wants out of life isn’t just intoxicatingly sexy to women —he’s also far more likely to be happy and successful in his own life.

Find your true passions and interests outside of dating. It will energize you in a way that makes you more magnetic, interesting and appealing to women.

ii) Focus On Bringing Value to Women’s Lives: As a nice guy, you like to help people when you can. This ethos can be applied to the dating world, too. How can you enhance the lives of the women you’re interested in?

Focus on knowing ahead of time what kinds of positive experiences you want to bring them. From lavish dinners and gifts to unforgettable experiences that uplift them, your nice guy traits can be synonymous with killer game in the dating scene.

iii) Downplay Your Niceness: This may seem counter-intuitive, but bad boys can be more alluring than nice guys—at least on the surface. Many women hope they can help bring out the “heart of gold” in even the worst bad boy. So retain your nice guy values, but at the same time, allow an air of mystery.

iv) Be Decisive: Another pitfall some nice guys fall into is deferring too much to the women they date. They think they’re “being nice,” when many women find this behavior annoying.
Make it a habit of being decisive on dates. From choosing a restaurant to deciding where to park to going in for the kiss after an amazing time, being focused and decisive shows your confidence.

v) Value Your Own Time, Energy and Effort: Being a nice guy with game means being nice to yourself, too. Never fall into the “nice guy trap” of letting women walk all over you and take advantage of your nice guy nature.  Women who don’t respect your time, effort and value don’t deserve you.

Jasbina is the founder and president of Intersections Match, the only personalized matchmaking and dating coaching firm serving singles of South Asian descent in the United States. She is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio.

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