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Comfortable saying NO
Recently, an Indian American friend and I met for a dosa dinner at the Ganesha Temple in Flushing, Queens, NYC. By 6:30 pm – and I am not exaggerating – my eyes were closing. I felt deep exhaustion in every bone. This is when I am mindful of pauses, rest, and restorative time; I reach a point where I am very comfortable saying NO.
Burnout
Burnout isn’t simply about working too hard. It’s a complex interplay of physical, mental, emotional, and cultural stress factors.
My friend and I are both mindful of how we plan our calendars. But at the end of the day, the desi upbringing doesn’t help. I am an immigrant, and my friend is the daughter of an immigrant. We have been taught and trained to work tirelessly for stability. We are professionals navigating boardrooms and kitchen tables. We are women juggling careers, cultural expectations, and the many roles that we play. And for many of us, “doing it all” comes at a cost: chronic stress, insomnia, digestive issues, anxiety, fatigue, and a gnawing sense of emptiness.
When we examine the landscape of corporate leadership in the United States, a striking trend emerges: the growing number of Indian immigrants and professionals of Indian origin occupying top executive roles. From CEOs of Fortune 500 companies to senior leaders shaping the direction of global enterprises, their presence in the C-suite is both significant and steadily increasing. But can we also talk about the decline in our community’s mental health? Here are some of the symptoms:
- Leadership burnout rose from 52% in 2023 to 56% in 2024, according to a recent survey by Superhuman.
- In a 2022 report by McKinsey, a national survey that likely included South Asians, nearly 1 in 3 Asian employees faced burnout.
- 1 in 5 U.S. South Asians report a mood or anxiety disorder in their lifetime.
The roots of burnout in South Asian communities
Burnout isn’t new. Suppose you grew up in the subcontinent or were raised in a South Asian home in the United States. In that case, you have most certainly experienced performance pressure at home, school, college, work, extracurricular activities, and even in familial relationships.
I remember getting into several arguments with my mom when her decisions or even responses were rooted in, “Beta, log kya kahengey” (Child, what will people say?) I would respond with, “Who are these people? Why do we need to live our lives and perform, instead of enjoying it, to seek acceptance from community members?
An unspoken epidemic
For many South Asians today — especially those living in diaspora — burnout feels like an unspoken epidemic. It stems from a combination of factors:
- Perfectionism and performance pressure are instilled from childhood.
- Cultural expectations to prioritize others’ needs (family and community) over self and suppress personal struggles.
- Lack of boundaries between work and personal life, particularly for those in multigenerational households.
- Internalized stigma around rest, self-care, mental health, and seeking help.
- Physical imbalances are often driven by erratic eating habits, sedentary lifestyles, and chronic stress in the workplace.
Normalizing burnout and exhaustion
We’ve normalized this exhaustion. The manicurist, at one of the nail salons I visit, is a lovely Nepalese lady who confessed to struggling with socializing and attending three parties on a Saturday night, especially when she works weekends. But how can she be a pariah and turn down invitations when the rest of the community socializes, she asks?
Many South Asians wear burnout like a badge of honor: the late nights, the endless to-do lists, the never-ending parties, and the pressure to excel. We were raised with the belief that resting is an indulgence, that perfection is expected, and that talking about mental health is taboo. A friend in India bragged about her husband’s 80-hour work week. It allows them a luxurious life, but it saddens me that she chooses not to notice his erratic moods, temper tantrums, or problems with drinking.
Here’s the other problem: When South Asians do seek help, Western wellness advice doesn’t always work. Advice like “just go on a retreat”, “set better boundaries”, or “don’t cook for a week” can feel tone-deaf when you’re managing multigenerational households or carrying cultural guilt about putting yourself first.
Here’s the good news…
Our ancestral wisdom offers solutions. Ayurveda — a 5,000-year-old ancient healing system from the Indian subcontinent — holds tools to help us reclaim balance. And for South Asians navigating modern burnout, returning to these roots can feel both healing and empowering.
Ayurveda views these patterns through the lens of dosha imbalance, especially aggravated vata (air and ether) and pitta (fire) energies. Left unchecked, they can deplete ojas — our vital life essence — leading to what modern medicine calls burnout.
Ayurveda’s timeless tools for modern life
What makes Ayurveda so relevant today is its emphasis on rhythm, nourishment, and individualized care, not one-size-fits-all advice. For South Asians, these practices also feel culturally resonant. Here’s how Ayurveda can help:
1. Restoring daily rhythms
Ayurveda teaches dinacharya — a daily routine that honors natural cycles and the circadian rhythm in contrast to our “always-on” digital lives and late snacking habits. It encourages rising with the sun, eating meals at consistent times, and winding down after dark. Small shifts in lifestyle can reset the nervous system and stabilize energy.
2. Nourishing with food
Food is medicine in Ayurveda. But food can be a source of stress for many South Asians as they haven’t been taught to cook or enjoy one-dish meals. Dinner parties are all about the number of dishes that make it to the table for applause.
For those who balance careers and caregiving, meals can become rushed, processed, or stale and devoid of any nutrition (I know many families who cook food on a Sunday for the entire week). Returning to simple, warm, nourishing dishes — think khichdi, gentle dals, pulao with veggies, or spiced soups, or even roast veggies — can rebuild vitality and soothe digestion. If you eat animal protein, add things to the grill or cook it in an Instant Pot. Focus on fresh meals but keep it simple.
3. Reclaiming self-care (abhyanga)
Every Indian kid has experienced the joys of an oil massage growing up. Daily self-massage with warm oil (abhyanga) isn’t indulgent or only for babies — it’s therapeutic for adults too. This calming ritual soothes overstimulated nerves and fosters self-compassion. For South Asian women, especially — often conditioned to care for others first — this practice can be revolutionary.
4. Mindful movement and breath
Ayurveda encourages gentle, intentional movement: yoga, pranayama, meditation, and nature walks. Even a few mindful breaths between video meetings, a short yoga sequence in the morning or a 30-minute walk after dinner, can shift patterns of tension and fatigue.
5. Cultivating mental resilience
Ayurveda addresses not just the body but the mind (manas). South Asians tend to harp on and obsess about negative news. I met a young, Indian American woman recently who continued to talk nonstop about the Air India crash and the sudden death of Karishma Kapoor’s husband. I had to tell her to stop because she was making the others anxious.
Many South Asians tend to personalize everything and attach themselves to stories that don’t belong to them instead of being in the present moment. Journaling, gratitude rituals, and conscious media choices help cultivate sattva — clarity and calm. They also help challenge internalized narratives of overwork and perfectionism.
A return to cultural roots
For many South Asians raised in diaspora, reconnecting with Ayurveda is more than a wellness trend — it’s a way to honor our heritage and heal generational patterns.
We are the generation that can unlearn the burnout mentality. We can attune ourselves to the fact that rest is not laziness, that self-nourishment is not selfish, and that well-being is a worthy pursuit, not something to be earned through exhaustion.
And we don’t need dramatic lifestyle overhauls. Ayurveda teaches us that small, consistent acts of care — a warm cup of cumin-coriander-fennel tea, a few minutes of mindful breathing, a nourishing home-cooked meal — can ripple outward to restore balance.
In a world that glorifies hustle and productivity, Ayurveda offers an ancient — yet urgently needed—reminder: Your health matters. Your rhythms matter. You matter.
Disclaimer: The content is purely informative and educational and should not be construed as medical advice. The information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure, or prevention of any disease. Please use the content only in consultation with an appropriate certified medical or healthcare professional. If you are looking for advice from a trained yogi and ayurvedic practitioner, contact the author here.