We are excited to welcome Jasbina Ahluwalia as our Relationship Columnist. She will author ‘Love.Connect.‘ our new monthly column on everything about relationships and love.
Jasbina, a veteran matchmaker and dating coach, is the Founder and CEO of Intersections Match, a progressive matchmaking agency based in California.
“Life is a series of choices I call intersections,” writes Jasbina. “Intersections in education, career, sports, and friendship. Intersections are magical. They change your life, and I look forward to helping you find your own special someone waiting for you at your next intersection.”
While Jasbina will primarily share insights with our readers via Q&As, at times this column may include thought-provoking interviews book reviews, and/or surveys.
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Q: I always seem to end up in short-term relationships with the same types of guys despite really wanting a relationship with long-term potential. Any suggestions?”
A: It sounds like you’re feeling stuck in a dating cycle that doesn’t fulfill your desire for a lasting connection. This is a common challenge, and I believe there’s a path forward that can help you break free from these patterns.
Many people find themselves attracted to similar traits, often without realizing it. It might be helpful to take a step back and assess what “type” you’ve been pursuing. This can be an enlightening process, allowing you to explore what you truly want versus what you think you want. A former client shared, “I never thought I had a ‘type,’ but I was very clear about who wasn’t my type. And I steered clear of those guys. Jasbina really encouraged me to let go of preconceived notions that were rooted in aesthetics or arbitrary traits people possessed. As a result, I am meeting men who are incredibly sweet and relationship-oriented. Above all, they treat me like a princess. I’m re-defining my ‘type’ as a result.”
This kind of transformation is possible for you too. By expanding your criteria and letting go of limiting beliefs about what your ideal partner should look like or be like, you open the door to a wider array of possibilities.
Consider stepping out of your comfort zone by engaging in new activities or social events that attract different kinds of people. For example, if you typically gravitate towards the athletic crowd, why not try an intellectual book club or a creative workshop? This intentional shift can expose you to new experiences and individuals who might align better with your long-term relationship goals.
While you’re navigating these new environments, aim to connect with at least three new people. The objective isn’t necessarily to find a date immediately, but rather to enrich your social circle and challenge your previous assumptions about compatibility.
After these interactions, take some time to reflect. Ask yourself:
- What surprised me the most about these new encounters?
- Did I notice any qualities I found appealing that I hadn’t considered before?
- How can I continue to diversify my social interactions moving forward?
Embracing this approach not only broadens your dating horizons but also enhances your own confidence and makes you a more engaging person. Remember, taking risks and exploring different avenues can lead to the fulfilling relationship you desire.
It’s about redefining what you seek and opening yourself up to all the wonderful possibilities out there. Just like my client mentioned earlier who later shared, “He just asked me to be his girlfriend tonight. And I said yes! Thanks for all the wonderful coaching,” you too can find that special someone who meets your desires for a meaningful relationship.
Feel free to submit dating and relationship questions for potential selection to info@intersectionsmatch.com, with “India Currents” in the subject line.
