Traveling is a gift
There are plenty of reasons people share travel stories. I write and share—filtered version—about our travels as well. To me, traveling is a gift that connects us all and brings the world closer together. I love to read and write about lessons learned, historical exposure, personal experiences, local foodie indulgences, and more.
But then there are those stories and storytellers who embellish their vacation experiences. Think of them as chronic exaggerators who want people to think and convince themselves they had a better time than they actually did. They want to create compelling narratives that attract attention. In the process, instead of being mindful of what they share … they feel obliged to brag about every moment spent on vacation.
But in doing so … they make their experience sound loud and unbelievable: Everyone!! Hear!! All! Our!! Travel!! Details!! And!! See!! All!! The!! Food!! We!! Ate!! Look!! At!! What!! We!! Bought!!
38 years of Indian American stories depend on what you do next. Stand with us today.
Exaggeration vs discretion
My husband and I recently returned from a trip to Germany. My work keeps me in the public eye, so I do use social media a fair bit to talk about writing, healing, teaching, Ayurveda, mindfulness, health, etc. But we are very private as a family. What we feel, what we do, whom we hang out with, how we spend our weekends … I don’t share anything in the public space. People who know us intimately are the only ones privy to what’s going on in our personal lives.
Upon seeing a picture of mine from our recent trip (which was also focused on health and well-being) … a friend from the gym said to me, “I notice you share with discretion. And no picture of your husband. Smart.”
There were many other DMs that I received. Some people wanted to know more about Germany’s “dark past” as well as ginormous food portions (I shared pictures of giant croissants in my Instagram stories). Another woman said she found it relatable when I wrote, “Despite a beautiful vacation, I can’t wait to return to our simple, ordinary life as well as sunshine.” Germany is grey, and I don’t handle gloomy weather very well. I am not going to tell a tall tale just because I was in Europe.
Another Instagrammer messaged me, “What’s with people amplifying their generational wealth through their multiple vacations while the rest of us are going about our day?” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that many people on Instagram are exaggerating their wealth and happiness. It’s unfortunately an act, and this keeping up with the pretenses … it’s making people sick.
The research says…
Research tells us that people constantly lie about their vacations. Over two-thirds (68%) of Americans said that they had told someone that they enjoyed their vacation more than they did, and 52 percent said that they wouldn’t tell anyone if their vacation had been a disaster.[1]
People often share exaggerated vacation experiences on social media to project a positive image of themselves, appear more exciting or well-traveled, seek validation from others, and sometimes even compensate for feelings of inadequacy in their everyday lives, essentially creating a “highlight reel” of their trip that may not accurately reflect the full experience.
Why do people feel the need to lie about their vacation status or brag about it?
Social validation: Receiving positive comments and likes on vacation posts can provide a sense of validation and belonging. In the hopes of either making friends jealous or of getting a few extra likes on their social media accounts, people brag about their travels. Most of us have ordinary lives but many aspire to be famous and appear interesting and exciting to others. Compulsive photo sharing can boost social media image and self-perception, especially for someone who has low self-esteem and believes their life is stale. May I suggest making new friends, or seeing a therapist to help you realize that you don’t have to compare yourself to other people and let this determine your self-worth?
Social comparison: Comparing oneself favorably to others is a natural human tendency and sharing seemingly “perfect” vacation moments can make people feel good about themselves in comparison to others. A client shared that her brother and sister-in-law don’t exercise at all and that’s a point of argument in their homes along with the fact that he hates to travel. But if you look at their vacation pictures … they revolve only around food and hashtags of Living-My-Best-Life-with-My-Best-Friend. Why? It’s because they compare what their friends post, which is pictures of travels and care about what everyone else thinks of them.
Memory reinforcement: We all know that there is a psychological tendency to romanticize past experiences. Sharing vacation photos and stories can act as a way to solidify positive memories and relive the experience. If you have watched any season of Emily in Paris on Netflix … you might have noticed that her follower count on Instagram grows massively once she moves to Paris and shares captures of her “high-flying” lifestyle.
Self-promotion and personal branding: For some, social media is a platform to cultivate a specific image of themselves, and sharing exciting travel stories contributes to that narrative. A colleague I once knew was engaged in extra-marital affairs during a midlife crisis. It wasn’t an open marriage, and it was extremely uncomfortable for the rest of us when this person expected us to lie for them, especially as all of their family travel pictures screamed of happiness on steroids. Their brand was happy life, happy wife.
Psychological Compensation: Couples tend to inflate experiences to justify the time and money spent. I know that some folks manage personal expectations and disappointments by presenting their vacation as extraordinary. Someone once kept telling us about their yacht vacation. I was excited for them the first time because it did sound exciting! But when this couple tried painting a picture of peace and calm, I knew they had tipped the bullshit barometer. Many of the single and divorced women said they found it real when I talked about vacations doesn’t mean no fights, perfect sleep, and no exhaustion. If there are individuals sharing all this time and space in an environment where both sleep and schedules are disrupted … people are going to have meltdowns. I think it’s healthy to argue and normal to have emotional outbursts. I don’t get how people can pretend to always be happy with each other when so many elements are out of our control.
Cultural Pressures: Between AI and social media, everyone believes they are spectacular storytellers. There is competitive sharing of experiences. Many have a perceived need to demonstrate personal success and adventures. These motivations stem from complex psychological mechanisms of self-presentation, emotional processing, and social interaction.
Yoga and mindfulness remind us to get to know ourselves first, and not focus on how others perceive us. Sure, we all exaggerate a little—that’s part of the excitement of travel storytelling. But if you are anchored and comfortable in your skin, you will not feel the need to be a chronic exaggerator about your life during the days of travel. Because life is rarely perfect—on or off social media.
Photo by Mesut Kaya on Unsplash
