It’s In The Eyes: Using Eye Contact to Determine Romantic Interest


My friend told me to pay attention to my date’s eyes to gauge his interest—any truth to that?

Controlled by the brain’s visual cortex, your eyes can reveal your moods and your emotions as they respond instinctively to what they see.

Here are 10 tips for observing the “windows to the soul.” Does your date
1. Maintain eye contact while talking to you?
If so, they are definitely interested in what you have to say—and possibly more!

2. Blink rapidly or excessively?
A date who blinks more than usual may be feeling awkward, confused or annoyed.

3. Have pupils that are large or small?
Enlarged pupils indicate interest, enthusiasm and even lust, while “pinpoint” pupils reveal the person may be “turned off.”

4. Look to the left or to the right?
Research studies into the direction of a gaze has found that people looking to the left are trying to remember something or thinking about the past. Those directing their gaze to the right may be engaging in more creative, possibly deceptive thought patterns.

5. Have sparkling eyes?
Glistening, sparkling eyes means your date is definitely interested in you. Extra fluid in the eyes means your date’s central nervous system is being positively stimulated—by you!

6. Have a “poker face” and “poker” eyes?
A frozen face and a blank stare is not a good sign, especially if your date’s staring seems aggressive and unfriendly. They may be hiding something they do NOT want you to discover.

7. Break eye contact frequently?
If they move their gaze randomly around the room and do not look at you while you are talking, it could be a sign your date is feeling uncomfortable, distracted or uninterested in the date.

8. Have eyes that are wide open or gazing downward?
This indicates fear associated with extreme shyness and uncertainty. Your date probably likes you but is too nervous to show it.

9. Have eyes that follow your every move?
That’s good! It shows interest and a desire to be accessible to you.

10. Have eyes that blink in- frequently?
This may indicate they are attempting to control their eye movements, probably because they want to appear calm, cool and collected–when they are really feeling excited and nervous.

Jasbina is the founder and president of Intersections Match, the only personalized matchmaking and dating coaching firm serving singles of South Asian descent in the United States. She is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio.

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