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Let’s just say it: being shy around women sucks! Shyness can freeze you in your tracks and be your biggest obstacle to connecting with women. However, lots of guys find ways to overcome their shyness. Here are five of the top ways:

1. Cultivate Your “Inner Extrovert”

Start by trying to be less shy around everyone. Practice being more expressive in terms of communication, humor and rapport with people you already know.  Doing so will naturally transfer over to your conversations with women.

2. Determine if it’s a confidence problem
Being an introvert is one thing; having low onfidence is another. If it is a confidence issue, introspect as to whether there may be any underlying issues. A therapist or matchmaker can help you.

Once underlying issues are addressed, it’s time to take action. Sometimes people mistakenly wait until they feel confident to take action —it actually works the other way around.  Once you take small steps, it will lead to feelings of success, which will lead to feeling confident.

3. Do you for a while
When it comes to building confidence, there can be value in taking a break from dating and spending more time on yourself. Get to the gym, pursue hobbies you love, or put more focused time on your career. Improving yourself builds confidence. When you know you have something to offer a woman, shyness can naturally evaporate.

4. Practice not being shy
If being shy and quiet around women is your “default setting,” try doing something totally out of character, such as flirting playfully with every woman you encounter for a whole day. (You can limit this to low-risk encounters—at the store or the restaurant drive-thru.) You’ll make their day and get to feel what it’s like not to be shy for a day.

5. Make “friends” with rejection
No that’s not a typo. Being cool with rejection is the key to overcoming the fear of it. Even the most gregarious guys get shot down. In fact, it probably happens to them the most, since they are talking to so many more women. Look at it this way: you actually want to get rejected by the women who are not a match.

Put these five tips into practice, and you’ll be well on your way to overcoming your shyness around women.

Jasbina Ahluwalia is the Founder-President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only premier dating coaching firm for Indian singles in the US, Canada and the UK.

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