Q. I find it very difficult to flirt with guys. I often feel as though I’m coming across too strong when I show interest and not strong enough when I pull back.
A. Striking a balance between green-lighting guys in a confident manner, and not pushing them away by coming off too strong, can be an effective way to approach flirting.
1. Make Eye Contact and Smile: According to a study done at Cornell University, maintaining eye contact with someone creates a strong sense of connection on a subconscious level. Use this to your advantage by looking at him when talking. Be sure to keep a smile on your face as well, as 96 percent of people believe that having a nice smile makes someone more attractive to the opposite sex.
2. Talk to Him Regularly: Show him you are interested by maintaining communication with him regularly. While initiating communication multiple times a day is likely to seem obsessive, too little communication might signify you just see him as a friend.
3. Show Him You’re a Happy Person: Men care about the happiness of the women in their lives; and also like to feel they can win with you. When a man who has an interest in you perceives you as a happy person, he feels set up for success. Don’t hold back from laughing at his jokes, and throwing in a few of your own to lighten the mood. Playful, fun teasing can also serve you well. Giving genuine compliments also adds to a positive vibe.
4. Show Him You’re Comfortable in Your Own Skin: Dressing in a skin tight mini skirt and tube top might send the wrong message, but a tastefully cut neckline and well-fitting jeans can help him appreciate your comfort with your body. Always make sure you feel beautiful when around him, whether that means doing your hair, wearing makeup (most men prefer natural-looking); or just embracing your body with what you choose to wear.
5. Touch Him: Human beings are wired to respond to touch, so it only makes sense to throw this into your flirting repertoire. Pat his arm when he says something funny or give him a comforting hug if he’s having a rough day. Keep your body language open and friendly to silently invite him to touch you back.