I always longed to have a lighter complexion, and I felt embarrassed to be seen with my Indian family. It is unfortunate how so many young people in North America feel uncomfortable in their own skin. Conceived from the systematic racism that lingers in our society, we feel unequal.
Thanks to my conversations with my father, I started to become more aware of racial inequalities and discrimination. He armed me with the ability to advocate about these issues, despite the underlying hopelessness I felt. Over time I have come to recognize the beauty of being Indian — our culture, our history, our values, and especially our relationships with our family members.
A Brown Girl
I used to feel
Uncomfortable
In my own skin
My dark brown hue
And even my kin
I longed to be white
A product of systematic racism
I longed to feel accepted
But instead was locked in a prison
Of my mind
Of my culture
Feeling
Less than divine
Worrying about tanning
Worrying about police brutality
Worrying about feeling like an outcast
I lost my sanity
Not being represented in books
Eyes gaze through
When we were younger
Feeling like an exception
As opposed to society’s member
I find comfort in my Indian family. The sense of security and unconditional love has allowed me to reciprocate such love for my greater community. As I read more on India, our history, and our culture, I fall more and more in love with that side of me. I hope that I can pass on this love for the culture to more Indian Americans and Canadians, who are deprived of a sense of belonging or fondness for their culture.
My (Our) Family
You are an alluring warmth,
A beautiful glow,
Radiant and promising,
Hovering over us with your gold
Cascading as an angle
From our window to the floor
Gleaming on the family table
Heartbeats-
Never ignored
An affirmation,
A comfort,
Through arguments
That persists
That even when rains come over
You are opened like a door
Always there,
Holding the day,
Shielding me
From our thunderstorm
You became my family;
A warm little glow
And the merest of conversations
We share
Make me feel whole-
Being Indian is more than an ethnicity or a label. It is a home. It is a community. It is a history of a beautiful and spiritual culture. It is security. It is knowledge. It is family values. It is strength in the face of adversity. It is resilience and peace in the face of colonialism. It is who I am.
More Than A Race
I am grateful for my Indian mother’s curls
I am grateful for my Indian family’s
Pillar of support
I am grateful for feeling
Like I can always talk to them
They’re my refugee against the world
I can quarrel with them one day
And then feel loved the next day
I can be 1000 miles apart
60 years old
And my family’s hands
Will be the ones that I still hold
I am blessed with food
With delicious spices
Taught about spirituality
And forms of kindness
The birth of yoga
And ayurveda
A country that never laid a hand
On another
India fought off inequalities
Discrimination
Through peaceful protests
And ended colonization
India redeems themselves
Despite all of the racism
Through the burning of their temples
And the cultural genocide of their people
Through their kindness
Their values
The sense of community
The love that I
As an Indian girl
Am lucky to carry with me
Sanjana Karthik is an entrepreneur, writer, and tv show host. She dedicates her time to volunteering and tutoring. She has reached some of her personal goals by creating her organization called Your Words Matter To Us, co-founding an upcoming mental health app called myEsprit, and creating mental health campaigns through the BC Youth Council.