Five Ways to Find Love a Second Time


Q.I’m in my early-50s, and I’ve been divorced now for seven years. Now that my kids are in college, I feel ready for a companion again. I was married before via an arranged marriage, and have no idea how to go about finding someone. Any suggestions?

A.Dating for the first time in your 50s can be daunting, but know that you are not alone. The following are five general suggestions to navigate your way to finding love for a second time.
Don’t Be Afraid of Online Dating
During the early and mid 90s, online dating got a bad rap as a new player on the social landscape. These days, however, dating sites are considered another way to meet other singles. Consider joining a site specifically set up for people over the age of 50 to meet others with similar lifestyles and interests.

Widen Your Geographic Horizons
Be open to meeting others who may not live in your immediate geographical area. If you’re a member of a dating site, for instance, indicate in your settings that you’re interested in meeting others who live 100 or even 250 miles away rather than the usual 25 or 50. You’ll expand your potential dating pool as well as provide yourself with opportunities to explore surrounding communities.

Date on Your Own Terms
Dating on your own terms means being clear concerning your likes and dislikes, as well as setting healthy boundaries. If the latest movie is something you have moral or personal objections to, feel free to offer an alternative activity rather than suffering in silence through something that makes you uncomfortable.

Be Upfront About Being Interested in Meeting Suitable Singles
Singles of all ages sometimes make a point of pretending to be uninterested in meeting potential partners, sometimes out of a misguided idea that cultivating an aloof air makes one seem desirable. If you find yourself telling friends, relatives, and associates that you’re not interested in meeting other singles, they’ll take you at your word.

Give Your Appearance a Boost
Go shopping and book a spa day or two. Even if you already look great, these things help create elevated levels of confidence, and spa treatments can be incredibility rejuvenating and relaxing.

Jasbina is the founder and president of Intersections Match, the only personalized matchmaking and dating coaching firm serving singles of South Asian descent in the United States. She is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio.

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