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There seems to be very little helpful information (beyond the pick-up artist stuff, which women tend to see right through) for relationship-oriented guys about what women find attractive in men. Could you shed some light?

I’m sure a lot of guys will appreciate your question, as it’s true that much of the relationship advice out there seems to be directed to women. Here are five qualities well worth cultivating, as I find they are almost universally appealing to relationship-oriented women.

i) Confidence.
Confidence can take many forms, from the extrovert who has no trouble talking to anyone in the room to the strong, silent type who exudes confidence from a distance. Whatever your personal brand of confidence, connect with it, own it, and radiate it wherever you go. The right woman is far more likely to notice you if you’re rocking your true confidence from the core.

ii) Integrity
While this quality might be hard to convey in a bar or on a first date, it is one that women prize highly in the opposite sex. Knowing who you are, having defined beliefs, being honest, and sticking to your principles is very impressive to women. Make integrity a priority, and the ladies will take notice.

iii) Intelligence/Success
While showing off your math or science knowledge too freely at a party might be a turn-off, speaking with intelligence and conveying a measure of success in life can be very alluring to women. While you never want to let your ego get the better of you, don’t be afraid to display your intelligence when getting to know a potential new love interest.

iv) Kindness
Yes, there’s that whole thing about chicks being drawn to “bad boys.” However, having a bit of an edge is very different from being unkind or downright mean. While women love when a man shows that he is ready and willing to fight for her honor, they also appreciate seeing kindness from their mate. So if you must be a bad boy, temper those tattoos with a heart of gold.

v) Sense of Humor

Let’s face it-just about everyone wants a partner with a good sense of humor. If you combine a sense of humor with wit, intelligence, kindness and heart, you just might be the ultimate catch.

You can’t go wrong cultivating these five qualities.

Jasbina is the founder and president of Intersections Match, the only personalized matchmaking and dating coaching firm serving singles of South Asian descent in the United States. She is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio.

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