It’s been an exciting and somber experience to witness history in the U.S. this week, as our country nominates its first female presidential candidate for a major party.
But despite the elation of this election, I’m also a little angry.
Just a little angry, mind you, because I’ve learned the hard way — in my professional and personal life — that a woman shouldn’t get “too angry.”
If a woman gets too angry, people get scared and think she’s unfeeling or arrogant. If she gets too angry, people don’t look at the root and logic of her anger, they simply conclude that she’s oversensitive, overly stubborn or not in control of her emotions due to her menstrual cycle.
So that’s why, out of caution and necessity, I’m only a little angry.
- I’m a little angry because despite hitting this epic milestone we feel we have to curb our excitement because there are still people, women nonetheless, who think we’re “playing the woman card.”
- I’m a little angry because people say things like “Lock Her Up” and “Burn the Witch” and it is passively tolerated.
- I’m a little angry because rather than celebrating as soon as hitting the winning delegate count in the roll call (i.e., South Dakota), our female candidate waited till the end, out of sensitivity to the Bernie Bros and their male leader. (Would this have happened in the reverse, I wonder?)
- I’m a little angry because men who draw crowds at rallies are elevated to rock star status by the public and the media, while the female candidate’s more personal, community-based approach doesn’t get the spotlight.
- I’m a little angry because words like transformative and inspiring are used for an outsider who only joined the Democratic party for his presidential run, but a lifetime of service to the party and the public isn’t eliciting the same adjectives.
- I’m a little angry because Hillary Clinton can’t get too angry. In fact, she also can’t get too sad, too excited, too happy or too frustrated.
And then, I pause, because I know that anger will not serve me or others. I suspect that Hillary Clinton came to this conclusion a long time ago and this is why she says what she says, does what she does, and acts how she acts. She has the wisdom of wounds and serenity from scars.
A little bit of anger, a little bit of fire, isn’t a bad thing. It simply must be channeled — channeled into ambition, action and a resilience that keeps you in the game. And when you channel that anger, it transforms through alchemy and you come out in your purest form, your authentic self, and as an unstoppable being.
With her life as an example, I believe this is exactly what Hillary Clinton has done. And given that she just made history, I’ll gladly try to emulate.
This isn’t about an election, political ideologies or the likeability of a candidate. This is about alchemy, for all women, who, in their purest form, have the power to change to the world.
Kamna Narain: transitions coach specializing in navigating health transitions (including disabilities); overall interest in self-improvement and spirituality.