A Collection of Moments: Finding Meaning in Life’s Contrasts
IC Columnist Ranjani Rao reflects on the moments and contradictions in life where challenges could be juxtaposed by unexpected beauty and happiness.
The nature of time
The midpoint of the year is a good time to stop and take stock of the months that have passed. The wheel of time continues to turn and we are left wondering at the speed with which we flip the pages of the calendar to the next month (I am old school, I still use a printed calendar 😀).
Time is notorious for being in a hurry. Or is it just us, who measure everything in units of time and lament the fact that it is never enough?
As Annie Dillard famously observed, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
And tracking our days, months and years is not an easy task. My method currently involves a wall calendar on which I write out my plans as I make them. Entries include movie meetups, lunch dates, massage appointments, volunteering sessions, travel itineraries, etc. I also make note of visitors who plan to stay with us or join us for a meal as they zip through a quick layover.
Memorable social events
The first half of 2024 included two memorable live performances including Shreya Ghoshal’s sold-out concert and Trevor Noah’s hilarious comedy show (although I missed Taylor Swift’s Eras tour that made a fairly long stop in Singapore). While these once-in-a-blue-moon activities seem precious precisely because of their rarity, my favorite notation on my calendar repeats each month – the in-person book club that I co-host with a bookish friend. Personally, this is the social gathering that I most look forward to.
Unexpected beauty
Documenting the highlights of each month has an unexpected side effect. It makes us aware of the ups and downs of life. The juxtaposition of the pleasant and uncomfortable, the perfect and the poignant, the beauty of nature and man’s creativity, seems to be a recurring theme this year.
On my last visit to the Bay Area at the end of March, I was met with cold winds on a rainy morning, very different from the sunny Singapore I had left a few hours earlier. However, when we stepped out in the early evening despite the slight drizzle, we witnessed a rare phenomenon, a double rainbow right over the Bay Bridge. Rainbows are fairly common in the tropics where rain and sun go hand in hand but the unexpected appearance of two arches of seven colors filled me with awe. As a former resident, the Bay Area holds a special place in my heart and this rainbow sighting was the best kind of welcome, like a warm hug on a rainy day.
Man-made vs nature-made
Earlier this year, a new attraction was introduced at the iconic Gardens By The Bay in Singapore, a very popular tourist spot. Switzerland-based artist, Dan Acher brought “Borealis”, an immersive light and sound installation to the supertree grove, an unmistakable part of Singapore’s skyline. This man-made invention blends technology with art and combines layers of light and cloudlike particles to recreate the beauty of the Aurora Borealis that is typically seen only in the high latitudes of the northern hemisphere in certain seasons. Now, people in Singapore, who live just one degree north of the equator can watch it in our own neighborhoods, at a fixed time each weekend. How unbelievable!!
Inspired by nature
When I watched the preview, I marveled at the creativity of artists who took inspiration from nature and made it accessible to so many of us who hadn’t witnessed this magical moment. Would I be disappointed if I had traveled to Norway and not seen the lights? Yes. But would I then be consoled by this man-made attraction as a substitute? No.
Around the same time, several sightings of the Aurora Borealis were reported in the Pacific Northwest and other locations in the US. I was taken aback by the juxtaposition of these two very different sightings of the same phenomenon.
There is something about nature’s fickle and fantastic ways that always make us stop and take stock of what is important. We can have routine experiences of awe when we stay open to our surroundings. These tend to fill us up in inexplicable ways mainly because of the unexpectedness and unpredictability of it.
Contrast and contradictions
This year has also been one of quiet contradictions. Every so often an invitation for a party appears right alongside news of illness of a loved one. While we celebrate anticipated births, we remain stunned by news of the deaths of friends, colleagues, and relatives. I have sent flowers to friends in India for anniversaries and also for bereavement, sometimes in the same week.
When news of the unexpected passing of someone we know strikes us, it hits us at our core.
It makes us aware of how we move through life, sometimes confident about our immortality and at other times, worrying if there will be enough time to get everything done.
Lessons from loss
Loss teaches us many lessons, but the most important one is that life is finite. Not only are our experiences transient, but our life itself is transient.
What should we do then? How should we live our lives? In fear of it ending prematurely or in a leisurely way, taking it easy, knowing that everything will ultimately pass?
There are no easy answers, but it is probably a good practice to think a bit deeper and see what emotions are evoked by such news, by our reactions to it, and which way our mind leans when we come across it.
I haven’t figured it out. But I feel reassured by my wall calendar that highlights what I have chosen to do with my days and consequently, how I choose to live my life. It reminds me to plan, yet stay tuned for unexpected beauty, whether that is man-made or brought about by nature. Life is a collection of moments and it is for us to decide what it is we want to focus on.
