A Short Introduction
This is the love story of Yatindra and Sadhana Bhatnagar – nearly 55 years of sharing cheers and tears, facing odds and overcoming them, together.
It’s a story of reaching great heights – he in journalism and she in painting and sketching.
Yatindra wrote books, Sadhana contributed to some. They collaborated on some more.
Both traveled widely. From New Delhi to Indore, mingling with Presidents and Prime Ministers, top diplomats, artists and business people.
Sadhana raised their two lovely daughters and wrote poems for Yatindra; he wrote them for her as well.
She was an excellent cook, expert in sewing, knitting, crocheting, singing, embroidery, hospitality, making life-long friends and helping others. They gave love to their daughters, their daughter’s husbands, and strangers. In return, they got love from far and wide.
They were always on the same page; two bodies and one soul.
Both remained love-birds, till her last day. He would sit by her side, hold her hand, look into her eyes, and whisper sweet nothings in her ears.
This is their Fairytale Love Story.
Start of a 55 year old love story
Talking about pairs, arranged or love marriage, meant marrying in our own community (caste) and region, with similar customs and language and habits, family background – and of course matching horoscopes. None of these figured into our marriage at all.
Ours was a beautiful combination of love and arranged.
We had only one ‘date’ on April 21, Milan Divas – The Day We Met, and got to know each other. That was enough for us.
In the six-months of waiting, dozens of letters were exchanged. Phone facility was not easy; it was also expensive. So we had the mailmen helping us. In this case ‘the middlemen’ were welcomed. Letters were a big consolation.
It started with my four-year-old friendship with Indrajit, Ved’s (Sadhana’s) brother, that led to our marriage and 55-years of courtship.
Destiny had played a significant role.
Ved was born in Nowshera, now in Pakistan, before her family moved to Abbottabad.
I was born in Indore, over 800 miles from Ved’s birthplace. She moved to Abbottabad and I to New Delhi – the distance cut by 90 miles. When we married she lived in Dehradun and I in Delhi, only 150 miles away.
We were surely destined to move closer and closer till we became one.
The rest is history, as they say.
We married on a ‘bad’ day but made a good life
October 8, 1961! The day, I believe, no marriages took place in orthodox Hindu families.
That is because it is part of the Shraddh season when orthodox Hindus remember their dead, pay respects to their souls, feed the Brahmins and the poor, and pray for the eternal peace for the dead.
Our marriage on a Shraddh day!
Indrajit and I consulted ‘Mr. Calendar’ and decided on the convenient Sunday.
Everything happily fell right into place. Virtually, the entire city came to witness this ‘unique’ marriage. We got the best hotel to stay, had one of the best bands available, and the caterers were happy to get business during a slow season.
It was no “Big Fat Indian Wedding” yet lovely and pleasant; a good family event where two families became close.
Mataji (my widow mother-in-law) gave away the bride, another break from the orthodoxy.
I gave Ved a new name – Sadhana, the desired one, my prayer.
On the bus heading home – and to new dreams – a non-stop singing session started. Sadhana obliged by singing what became one of our favorite songs:
Nayee manzil nayee rahein, naya hai meherbaan apna, na jane ja ke theharega kahaan yeh karvaan apna. (New destination and new path, new partner-friend, I don’t know where this caravan will end up.)
How appropriate was her choice!
Making of a Home
Back home well past midnight, everyone was tired and retired to bed early. No ‘first night’ ritual. We looked forward to the future.
The next day my errands took a long time and it was a late evening when I returned. I was stunned – my beautiful wife was waiting for me in her elegant dress, simple yet lovely jewelry, hardly any make-up, and the apartment had transformed into our “home.”
Homes are made with love, vision, respect, commitment and a desire to become and grow as one. Sadhana arranged the furniture and other things to make the small rooms look larger and bare walls were adorned with photos and paintings. The home looked inviting; it bore the stamp of a lady with good taste and creativity. She did everything with love and care to make it her home, our home.
Wonderstruck, I could only say: “Tumne to ise swarg bana diya (you have turned this into a heaven.) She had a lovely smile on her face as we exchanged glances that said more than we expressed.
I was apologetic for being away for hours but she put me at ease with a phir kya hua (no problem, that’s okay).
I was stunned and could only look at her full of admiration and joy.
I fell in love with Sadhana, again. And that love continued for about 55 years.
Our Honeymoon and More
We didn’t have a honeymoon in the traditional sense. We had made no plans and we kept everything limited and simple. As part of our wedding, just a couple days after our marriage, we were off to Dehradun for Phera (return).
The Phera tradition serves two purposes: one, to know first-hand from the girl how she was welcomed at the groom’s place and how she feels about the groom (Mataji could tell from Sadhana’s glow); two, to know the son-in-law better without his entourage (Baraat).
After spending a couple days in Dehradun, meeting Sadhana’s family and a host of her friends, we went to Mussoorie for a day to have time exclusively for the two of us. Unexpectedly one day became two.
Our lives had become the ultimate union of two hearts and two minds to reach the divine state of one.
That was the relation between Sadhana and I, from the beginning to the last.
We did have a delayed honeymoon after 11 years where we went to Europe and Egypt for 40 days. It will remain a cherished memory.
Life, of course, is not a bed of roses.
We encountered problems. We faced hardships and challenges. We had our disagreements. We argued. But they were few and far between.
The ‘ceasefire’ was quick. Tears shared and sweet smiles exchanged happily.
The arguments did not last long.
The ‘silent treatment’ could not go beyond a couple hours.
We wouldn’t have it any other way.
In early 1940s in India, Brooke Bond Tea widely displayed an ad proclaiming: “Two leaves and a bud, the standard plucking method of the high grade tea.”
When we would patch up – and I loved that job happily – it was “two tight hugs and a kiss, the standard patch-up method of the highest grade of love.”
Peace will be inevitably restored in no time to be followed by more tight hugs and more shower of kisses, enough to drown us in love and loud laughter.
Sadhana was an incredible human being!
Yatindra Bhatnagar, a journalist, author and poet has been writing for more than seven decades. He was chief editor of daily, weekly and monthly newspapers and magazines in India and the United States. He has done more than three thousand radio and TV programs and written 20 books, in English and Hindi. He has extensively traveled in India and abroad. At nearly 91, he is still writing books, contributing to papers, doing radio programs and has his own website: www.internationalopinion.com
Edited by Contributing Editor Srishti Prabha