Q. My best friend has been dating his girlfriend for about 8 months, and in the last couple days he has confided to me that he’s begun to suspect she may not be faithful. He’s a pretty private guy like me, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one he’s confided to. He’s always been there for me, and I hate to think there’s even a possibility that his girlfriend isn’t showing him the loyalty he deserves. Any suggestions?
A. What a great friend you are! Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and being confident that his girlfriend is being faithful is crucial to the success of your friend’s growing relationship. While context is important, and the below signs are certainly not black-and-white, here are three signs to share with him:
1. She seems more interested in her phone than in him:
It is true that almost everyone is addicted to social media and engrossed in a digital world to some extent. However, if he goes out to dinner with his girlfriend, spends the evening watching a movie or participate in anything that should consist of the two of them spending time together and she completely ignores him in favor of her phone, she might have a problem.
2. Her social calendar is too full for him:
He used to have a pre-set date on which he would get together with his girlfriend. For example, every Saturday evening was their night to go out or spend time with each other, and no plans really had to be made it was just a forgone conclusion, but if suddenly “their day” gets replaced with time with her friends or last-minute changes of plans that don’t include him, she could be cheating.
3. She has become overly interested in his schedule:
If his girlfriend’s texts to him primarily include questions about his schedule, because she wants to know when he will be at a certain location and for how long, this could be a sign she is trying to keep tabs on him so she doesn’t get caught cheating.
The signs listed above can potentially be clues that his girlfriend is cheating. Importantly, however, all of them can be attributed to other factors as well. However, if more than a few of these signs exist, and his girlfriend’s behavior is changing, he needs to seriously consider that his girlfriend could be cheating or losing interest in him.
I will provide a few more clues in next month’s column. Whatever the situation may be, though, it’s time to advise your friend to pay attention to the signs and possibly start a dialogue with his girlfriend about his suspicions.
Jasbina is the founder and president of Intersections Match, the only personalized matchmaking and dating coaching firm serving singles of South Asian descent in the United States. She is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio. Jasbina@intersectionsmatch.