I teach yoga to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Every time I see a client of South Asian heritage in my class, I wonder if they have support from their family. Because the world has changed tremendously on the outside, but have most people also evolved on the inside?
Cultural Norms and Silence
If you are a woman who grew up in India in the 80s and 90s, you have probably been threatened/groped/touched without consent/molested/assaulted on your way to school, college, work, or even grocery shopping. The majority of us were told, “Chaltaa hai” (Don’t make a fuss about these crimes. These things happen). By the time women get married, so many were used to suffering in silence that they don’t speak out against marital rape.
In the South Asian community, cultural norms, stigmas, and traditional values can heavily influence how sexual assault is perceived and addressed. I was a young teenager in college when one of the girls in the dorm said that she had been sexually assaulted. She was pacing up and down the hall, and words were darting from her mouth. We were all young, ill-equipped to handle the sensitivity of the information, untrained to say the right words, and completely unprepared to handle news like this. I asked if she wanted to inform her parents. The girl froze.
One of the most pervasive challenges within the South Asian community is the culture of silence surrounding sexual assault. Honor and family reputation are highly valued, leading many survivors to remain silent rather than risk public shame or social ostracism. This reluctance is rooted in the concept of “izzat” (honor), which is often tied to women’s behavior and perceived purity.
That’s why so many women choose to stay silent: the onus is always on the woman to keep herself “safe” and “protected.”
The night when our dorm mate shared that she had been assaulted, I heard girls say things like, “I will end my life if something like this happens to me because no one in my family will support me. They will blame me for wearing the wrong clothes or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
The Role of Patriarchy
Sexual assault is a global issue, transcending cultural, geographical, and social boundaries. However, when examining its prevalence and response within specific communities, cultural factors often play a significant role.
According to an article in Equality Now, “Sexual violence is a crime rooted in control and patriarchy, including male entitlement.”[1]
Even as recently as the brutal Kolkata rape case in 2024 where a 31-year-old trainee doctor was sexually assaulted and killed, we are reminded that high levels of sexual violence despite legal reforms and promised crackdowns still exists in India.
Males hold a disproportionate amount of power in families and communities; this power structure is both expected and accepted by the majority of females.[2]
Because of patriarchy, victim blaming is another significant barrier, where survivors are questioned about their attire, behavior, or the situations that led to the assault. Such attitudes not only invalidate the trauma but also discourage reporting and seeking help. As a result, survivors are left feeling isolated and unsupported, and perpetrators believe no one can touch them. Our systems put the onus on women to protect themselves against potential rapists.
My takeaway as a young girl growing up in India: A family’s honor lies between a woman’s legs, but we don’t teach our boys how to treat girls and women.
My realization as an adult: The inability to protect her girls and women is a national tragedy for the nation.
The Predators in Our Homes
I know friends and colleagues who grew up in India and were sexually assaulted by an uncle, a brother, a neighbor, or a cousin while growing up. Not even one of them brought this up with their families. Between shame, taboo, awkwardness, and lack of transparency at home in communication, they didn’t know how and who to share this information with! It’s only after they started dating or got married or were ready to have children that the old trauma resurfaced.
When the pandemic hit, several women in my desi networks started to speak out against the sexual assault they endured growing up. Sexual violence within marriage is also common and manifests in various forms, including marital rape.
Did you know that marital rape is still not outlawed in India?
Despite the evidence of adverse effects of marital rape on the mental and emotional health of victims, in India, rape in the context of marriage remains largely unaddressed in clinical practice, scientific research, and public health surveillance.[3]
Addressing the Issue
Breaking the silence requires a multi-faceted approach that includes community education, survivor support, and challenging harmful cultural narratives. South Asian activists and organizations have been pivotal in creating safe spaces and fostering dialogue. Educational initiatives that promote gender equality and consent are essential, as is amplifying the voices of survivors.
The Path Forward
Empowering survivors within the South Asian community means addressing both cultural and systemic barriers. By fostering a more inclusive dialogue and challenging traditional stigmas, there is hope for a future where survivors feel supported rather than silenced.
- Educating young boys and men that girls and women are not some properties to be owned should be of high importance.
- Stop policing victims and blaming them.
- Raise awareness amongst families and communities so no survivor ever struggles alone.
- Explore the challenges survivors face when seeking help, including community pressure and lack of institutional support.
- Analyze how South Asian media portrays sexual assault and whether it reinforces stereotypes or sparks meaningful dialogue.
Resources and Support
Providing accessible resources tailored to the South Asian community, including counseling and legal support, is crucial. Culturally sensitive care can help bridge the gap between survivors and the assistance they need. Some nonprofits support women sexual assault survivors and even provide them with free yoga classes, which can help lower PTSD.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In conclusion, addressing sexual assault in the South Asian community requires courage and collective effort. By acknowledging the cultural challenges and actively working to dismantle harmful norms, we can pave the way for a more supportive and just future.
“I just want to tell other women that when you feel like you are falling there is a whole army of us ready to catch you. You don’t need to explain because we have lived it, we know, we see, we are here for you and we believe you.”
[1] https://equalitynow.org/learn_more_sexual_violence_in_india/
[2] https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/sexual-assault-against-women-in-india
[3] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10021972/
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