SD Nari is a non-profit organization operating since 1995 to help victims of domestic abuse reclaim their strength and recognize their abilities. Their mission, undertaken by a team of volunteers, is to be a resource and referral for South Asians in San Diego with a focus on people of Indian origin.
They serve both men and women in distress with legal referrals, financial help, vocational help, and counseling toward regaining their confidence. They also help families when they have personal emergencies such as the passing of a loved one or mental health issues.
The SD Nari team carefully reviews all cases they receive and takes action only after due diligence. “Our role involves being objective while being compassionate at the same time,” says staff. Their volunteers undergo rigorous training and have obtained certifications to equip them with the necessary skills.
“The organization is supported by various agencies, sponsors, and volunteers who give their time and effort, ” says staff. ” We are always looking for volunteers from both the legal and mental health fields to be able to offer pro-bono service to our survivors.”
Three committees – The Domestic Violence Committee, the Senior Committee and the Youth Committee – oversees SD Nari operations, supervised by our members of the Board.
The SD Nari team has helped many clients in need treating every case with confidentiality.
One survivor (using a pseudonym) shares a personal story.
“I came here for higher studies. While I was here, I met a local man whom I fell in love with.
Even though I had dated him for a year, after we got married, he shocked me. He would make questionable demands of me that violated my values and when I refused to give in, would get violent. He regularly used my temporary immigration status to threaten me. He even falsely filed domestic violence charges against me and served me with a temporary restraining order. Later he served me with divorce papers.
My family primarily lives in India so with no knowledge and a limited support structure here, I turned to SD Nari. They were a source of constant support through this difficult phase of life. They empathized with me, provided me with guidance, and even helped me financially. They communicated with me every single day until my divorce was finalized. When they helped me find a job and also got me a car, I was ecstatic because I could finally see a path for me to become independent.
I am in a better place today and I want to tell anyone reading this to spread the word about SD Nari. I plan to support this organization and in turn help other women in need.”
According to SD Nari, each client who comes to them has their own unique story and the volunteers are dedicated to helping bring stability and happiness to their lives. “We see women from all walks of life – some are educated, while others face struggles with visa issues and stay in their marriages despite the abuse.”
Clients approach SD Nari through a hotline and by filling out an intake form.
“Most situations involve marital issues and though we offer unconditional support, we do assess the cases objectively. We recognize that marriage is a lot of hard work and can be difficult, but separation or divorce is not the only solution,” say staff.
In a recent case, staff responded to a call asking in-depth questions of the wife and her husband. They ascertained that there was no malice or abuse in the interaction between the couple; instead several misunderstandings arose from communication issues. They were able to provide guidance and resolution through mediation. “Whenever possible we encourage counselling and open communication between the couple to resolve the conflicts in the relationship,” say staff.
The couple shared their story.
“My husband and I had an arranged marriage in India 4 years ago. Soon after we moved to San Diego.
Very quickly we both realized that we had nothing in common. Despite that I was committed to making the marriage work, however, my husband’s bad temper made it challenging. Everything I did irritated him and would result in a fight. It got much worse during lockdown because we were trapped together all day in our small home. Even trivial things such as me doing the laundry in the morning upset him and resulted in him getting angry. Although there was no physical abuse, I lived in constant fear of the next outburst.
Emotionally broken, I finally reached out to SD Nari for help. They listened to me and even talked to my husband. Together we explored different options for the path forward. I am reviewing the various resources they shared including marriage counseling with a counsellor who shares my cultural background. I am grateful that SD Nari has provided me a support structure and I am not walking this difficult path alone”
The couple is now continuing to stay together and working on their marriage. “We are very hopeful for them,” says SD Nari. “Our clients are integrated back into society and are functioning and contributing adults in our community.”
SD Nari is hosting a “Spring Fair” or “Basant Mela” on April 28, 2024, in the new facility “Oasis” in San Diego. This is their first large fundraiser that offers food, clothing, jewelry, and game booths, a cultural program with regional dances, and a Fancy Dress competition for children.
SD Nari has been functioning with the support of donors. To find out more, go to www.sdnari.org