No one likes feeling rejected by another person, it creates feelings of anxiety and sadness. For men, rejection can affect how they feel about themselves as men and could take a toll on their self-confidence. Therefore, many times men refuse to approach a woman they find attractive or want to get to know. This is unfortunate, since they may be missing out on a wonderful opportunity to create a loving and fulfilling relationship. That being said, there are ways men can mitigate this fear of rejection.
i) Tell yourself: It’s not you, it’s her.
She may not be interested in getting to know you for a variety of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you. For instance: she’s already seeing someone, not interested in dating anyone, or maybe she just had a horrible day at work. Whatever the reason, her turning down your attempt at flirting may have very little to do with you personally.
ii) Fear is far worse than reality.
When you see a woman that you may be interested in dating, approach her immediately. If you wait too long, fear will set in and you’ll drum up all kinds of excuses to not approach her.
iii) Rejection happens to every man.
You are not alone. Every man who has attempted flirting has been rejected at some point. It does not matter how handsome, wealthy, or witty he may be.
iv) Don’t base your self-worth on others’ perceptions.
As much as rejection can hurt, keep in mind that this person doesn’t know the real you. When a woman is approached by a man, if she is interested in dating him she has to make a snap decision based on little information.
v) Learn to dread regret instead of rejection.
A powerful practice to adopt is to consider the risk of regret more so than the risk of rejection. Think to yourself: how much will I regret not talking to her later? We lose every shot we don’t take; and we tend to regret the actions we don’t have the courage to execure more than those that we do.
Don’t allow the fear of rejection to paralyze you. Have faith in the knowledge that you’re worth getting to know.
Jasbina is the founder and president of Intersections Match, the only personalized matchmaking and dating coaching firm serving singles of South Asian descent in the United States. She is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio. Jasbina@intersectionsmatch.com.