Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
This conversation has been edited for conciseness and clarity.
Ableism
Sancia Kundu (SK): In your experience, Carly, how do you see ableism or pressure to meet typical developmental expectations impact the children you work with?
Carly Ferrill (CF): That’s a great question about ableism. I wish more people understood that kids develop differently. We have numerous great checklists, scales, and benchmarks that we use to ensure our kids are meeting developmental milestones. However, not every kid will check the boxes sequentially as they develop within their norms. Some will meet milestones in different patterns. Parents come in—especially in our program—and say, “Well, my three-year-old is not writing their name yet,” or “They’re not drawing and doing these things.”
Developmentally, for instance, drawing at the age of three is not appropriate. Let’s start with holding crayons and scribbling. Before you can run, you have to crawl, right? And so before you can write your name, you have to be able to scribble and hold a crayon.”
Understanding developmental norms better
CF: I think just providing people with a better understanding of what developmental norms are, what they look like, and then understanding the foundations and the building blocks and how important those blocks are to get to the next step—I think that’s probably my biggest takeaway in the field I work in.
SK: Yeah, my mom told me, “You just barely passed all your tests,” and I guess they also took me to an occupational therapist. They were like, “We really don’t think that she’s developing like she’s supposed to or as fast as she should.”
CF: And I think that does happen. Different cultures see different disabilities differently.
Stigma
SK: Oh, it is stigmatized in my household. My parents didn’t grow up in the US—they immigrated from India about 20 years ago—and they grew up in a strict environment when it came to talking about stuff like that. Even in the U.S., the definition of “normal” is weird. We categorize people if they’re not it.
Getting more information out to people
CF: I think a big piece of your question is just getting more information out to people—better understanding, awareness, and advocacy for different types of disabilities. So that there isn’t a stigma associated with each label or exceptionality. Because your child was diagnosed with autism doesn’t mean it’s a death sentence. They’re still so capable of doing so many things and can be super productive members of society. But we have to give them the tools they need to do so.
SK: Oh yeah, I definitely believe that. When I was younger, I would have never thought, “Hey, I can get here.” But teachers made me feel like I could, and I have incredible respect for that. It’s not wrong to talk about this (disabilities). It is a part of who you are.
CF: The more people are willing to accept and seek help for therapies and things like that—for anybody they know or just to pass that information on—the better. Hiding it fuels the stigma, and that’s something we don’t need any more of in this world.
SK: What kind of changes in the classroom or in the school system do you think would help reduce these barriers for disabled children and their families?
CF: Honestly, access—ensuring that all families are aware of the programs, therapies, and options that are available to them. Sometimes families don’t know what’s out there. Maybe their pediatrician isn’t doing the developmental checklist at well-checks. Maybe they don’t have a pediatrician at all, or they don’t have family nearby.
Early intervention is the key
Early intervention is so key—getting that information out. Another change I’d like to see involves universal design. Programs on general education campuses could offer more support for students with physical needs. Playground structures, cafeterias need to be safe and appropriate, especially for students who need physical support.
At one school where I taught, the playground was all rocks. We couldn’t get wheelchairs out there. So I wrote a grant to get developmentally appropriate materials for the courtyard so kids could access the playground the same way their typically developing or able-bodied peers could. That kind of universal design should be everywhere.
Teachers play a huge role. We advocate for our students. Whether that’s writing grants or changing our classroom environment, we push to make spaces more inclusive.
What can future educators do?
SK: From your perspective, what can future educators or advocates like me do to help create learning and play environments where disabled children have more agency and aren’t just expected to fit into adult-imposed expectations?
CF: Inclusion is huge. In our classroom, we have students with autism or developmental delays as well as students who are “typically developing.” Giving all of them the opportunity to play in shared spaces—that’s where learning happens.
They watch their same-age peers play in functional ways. They model each other’s behaviors. They learn so much just through peer interaction—more than they sometimes learn from adults. Social skills, play skills, language, routines—they pick up so much by watching their peers.
Inclusion is critical.
And then, there’s advocacy—what you’re doing now. Educating the broader public on what disability looks like and how it varies. Not every child presents the same. Awareness helps us shift our mindset. Disability shouldn’t mean lower expectations.
We also need to foster independence. Let students carry their own backpacks, open their own doors—encourage them to say, “I can do that.” It’s important that we give students the tools and confidence to advocate for themselves.
SK: That’s something I’ve seen firsthand. My sister was a TAG (Talented and Gifted) student, and even though we were on opposite ends of the system, she says she learned a lot from me. It changes how you see the world, even within your own family. That’s part of why inclusion matters—it’s not just about academic outcomes. It’s about belonging and visibility.
CF: I agree. Our typical students also learn so much from their peers with disabilities—empathy, patience, and how to support others. They get excited when they see someone make progress—like using words to express themselves or learning a new skill.
Everyone in the inclusion model benefits. It’s mutual learning, mutual growth. Disability awareness isn’t just for people with direct connections. It’s something everyone should understand, because we all live in this world together.
SK: Thank you so much for sharing your insight. These conversations matter. Talking about disability isn’t weakness—it’s strength. The more we talk, the more we change.
Sancia Kundu is a student at the University of Texas, Austin, majoring in Youth and Community Studies. She is an aspiring educator and disability advocate—and someone who believes that real learning happens not just in classrooms, but in the moments where people feel seen, heard, and understood.
Carly Ferril graduated from Florida State University with a Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Special Education and a Bachelor’s Degree in Special Education. She is an Early Childhood Special Educator at Deepwood Elementary School, Round Rock, Texas.
Listen to the audio podcast of this conversation on Spotify and iHeart.