Knowing oneself is the first step to self-fulfillment
A well-known philosophical adage, “Know Thyself,” underscores the importance of self-awareness. Everyone is born with certain innate personality traits, temperament, tastes, tendencies, and aptitude. The idea is to leverage our strengths to maximize our success and happiness in the shortest period of time.
I am personally very fussy about socializing. I would rather have a small number of good friends than a large group of faux friends just to impress. For me, family comes before friends.
Regarding material goods, I don’t crave them; I buy only what I need, not what I want, because needs are finite but wants are infinite. I enjoy spending money on joyful experiences, like traveling and charity. I believe I am not alone in feeling this way; research and surveys have also found that happiness derived from a joyful experience stays longer than the joy derived from buying objects. As radio personality Dave Ramsey once famously said, “We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.”
This self-knowledge story has four pivotal characters: self-fulfillment, ideas, objects, and people.
Self-fulfillment: What’s most important to you?
Self-fulfillment transcends material possessions, interpersonal connections, and abstract concepts. While possessions, relationships, and ideas contribute to one’s sense of fulfillment, discerning which is of highest significance to us, needs introspection and critical analysis.
One way to understand self-fulfillment is through the lens of human psychology and behavior. American psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs furnishes a framework for comprehending human motivation, wherein individuals progress from basic physiological needs to higher-level needs like belongingness, esteem, and self-actualization. While material possessions may gratify lower-level needs such as safety and security, fulfillment often stems from higher-order needs associated with social connections, personal growth, and self-realization.
Ideas: They inspire action, precipitate change
Ideas act as catalysts for intellectual stimulation and personal development. Engaging with ideas enables individuals to broaden their perspectives, challenge entrenched beliefs, and nurture critical thinking skills. Great minds immerse themselves in the realm of ideas, contemplating philosophical concepts, scientific theories, and creative innovations.
Ideas furnish individuals with a sense of purpose and direction, guiding them toward self-discovery and fulfillment. Whether through literature, art, philosophy, or science, exploring ideas enables individuals to connect with something greater than themselves. It facilitates intellectual discourse and contributes to the collective advancement of society.
Moreover, ideas possess the power to inspire action and precipitate change. History abounds with examples of individuals who have reshaped the world through their visionary ideas, from the scientific breakthroughs of Albert Einstein to the political ideologies of Mahatma Gandhi. By embracing and championing innovative ideas, individuals can leave an indelible mark and fulfill their innate desire to effect meaningful change.
Discover your own genius
Not everyone can become an Einstein or Gandhi, but I firmly believe in the oft-repeated quote, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” The problem is that people blindly imitate those they like or respect, instead of discovering their own talents and leveraging them.
Back in 1991, my in-laws visited us from India and found me reading all the time. I have loved to read since I was a child. My mother-in-law told my wife, “If he reads so much, why doesn’t he write?” When my wife told me about this, I was stunned because it just never occurred to me to write. Being an engineer with a science education, I always thought that only people with humanities or journalism backgrounds could do all the writing.
After a few attempts, in April 1991, a letter I wrote to the editor of Detroit News was published. Since then, I have not stopped writing. One of my essays won an award in the Detroit News! My writings –including letters to the editor – have since appeared in numerous other newspapers and magazines, including Detroit Free Press, The New York Times, US News & World Report, American Kahani, and India Currents, among others. I have six thick binders full of printouts of my published work.
This side of me would have remained unexplored had my mother-in-law not intervened. Until then, I was walking the beaten path of a science guy, without exploring other horizons that might bring me joy and success.
Objects can bring joy, until they don’t
Objects hold symbolic significance and emotional value for individuals. Be it a cherished possession, a work of art, or a cultural artifact, objects serve as extensions of one’s identity and personal narrative. For some, acquiring material possessions provides a sense of comfort and security, while for others, the act of creating or interacting with objects engenders fulfillment.
In a consumer-driven society, the pursuit of material possessions is often equated with success and happiness. However, I feel genuine fulfillment cannot be derived solely from the accumulation of wealth or possessions. Rather, the meaning and significance attributed to these objects unlock the door to personal satisfaction.
Objects also serve as repositories of significant life experiences and milestones. Family heirlooms, photographs, and mementos harbor memories and narratives that tether individuals to their past, fostering a sense of continuity and belonging. By surrounding ourselves with objects imbued with personal significance, we can cultivate a sense of comfort and familiarity in our lives.
A short-lived satisfaction
Nevertheless, it is imperative to acknowledge that in the long run, attachment to material possessions can breed discontent and dissatisfaction. Everything in the material world is transient because change is the law of nature. At some point, everyone dies. Even the ability to enjoy material possessions declines with age. The relentless pursuit of material wealth often spawns a cycle of consumption and excess, culminating in feelings of emptiness and disillusionment. Trying to satisfy desires by enjoying the objects of desire only intensifies the desire, just as pouring oil on fire doesn’t extinguish it; it only intensifies the fire.
People: They influence, inspire, and validate
Human relationships are integral to the quest for self-fulfillment. Whether through friendships, romantic relationships, or familial bonds, interpersonal connections furnish individuals with a sense of belonging, support, and validation. The idea is to minimize small talk and talking about people behind their backs, and focus more on forging meaningful relationships that demonstrate greater empathy and understanding.
People possess the ability to profoundly impact one another’s lives, serving as sources of inspiration, encouragement, and companionship. By cultivating authentic connections we can experience a deeper sense of fulfillment and purpose. Through shared experiences and mutual support, relationships offer avenues for personal growth and self-discovery.
I was heavily influenced by my father’s knowledge of Hindu scriptures and how he practiced the spiritual principles he learned from them. My knowledge of Hindu scriptures was further enhanced under a renowned professor of comparative religion at the University of Detroit, who would give free lectures on the Bhagavad Gita at the Bharatiya Temple of Troy in Michigan. The professor, a great influence on me, became my spiritual father.
The joys of giving
The act of giving and receiving love and compassion is inherently fulfilling. Altruism and acts of kindness can bring joy and happiness. By nurturing positive relationships and fostering community, we can cultivate a sense of fulfillment that transcends individual achievement or material success.
Find your path to fulfillment
In conclusion, the exploration of ideas, objects, and people presents individuals with unique pathways to self-fulfillment. While each avenue presents its own opportunities and challenges, all three contribute to personal growth, satisfaction, and overall well-being. Ideas stimulate intellectual curiosity and foster critical thinking skills, objects serve as tangible reminders of personal history and identity, and people provide sources of support, connection, and love. By prioritizing the exploration of ideas, objects, and people, we can embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth that ultimately leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash