Paramita Bhattacharjee loves wearing saris. When she moved to the US in 1999 she missed wearing saris – a garment that connects her to her roots and childhood memories of India. Her mother, aunts, and grandmother wore them. Saris are feminine and graceful, says Paramita, and bring out a woman’s personality. The yarns, threads, and weaves tell wonderful stories about their origin, and yet, they also serve to wipe away a child’s tears.
We Belong is a visual series highlighting different experiences of South Asian and Indian identity. This series was produced by India Currents in collaboration with CatchLight as part of the CatchLight Local CA Visual Desk. Photographs and interviews by CatchLight Fellow Sree Sripathy.
Portraits were made in Fremont, Calif. on Feb. 12, 2023 and the interview took place on Aug 2, 2023 via Zoom. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Where were you born and raised?
I was born in India, in the state of Assam. My dad used to work in Nagaland. I grew up in Nagaland for quite a few years and then I did my undergrad in engineering. The engineering college was almost a melting pot of cultures, mostly from India, but there were some international students as well.
I met people from all over India. And that’s where I think that I had that epiphany of, hey, India is such a beautiful country and there’s a lot of amazing cultures out there.
What was a cultural event or thing you loved to do in India?
I loved to be part of the festivals. In my college days, I was part of the SPIC MACAY organization, which was the Society for the Promotion of Indian Classical Music And Culture Amongst Youth. I was very actively involved in that. There were a few reasons for that. One was, you know classical music was not very prevalent amongst the youth. More folks were leaning towards pop music and I had a thing for classical music. And I always felt that, you know, that was the root of all music, right? Be it Western classical, or Indian classical, but SPIC MACAY was more focused on promoting Indian classical music. We used to organize festivals in the college where the community could come together. So we got together, had food together, had fun.
When did you come to the US?
I came to the US in 1999. I got married right out of college, and then I came here on an independent visa. I was not working.
For the first six months, I just wanted to go back home. Everything felt so alien. I still remember it was the first two weeks. I was walking to the library to read books and get to know the place. There was no pavement. I was walking on the gravel. I got honked on, you know, as if it was a crime to be walking in the streets. This was St. Louis, Missouri.
I had no friends then. I left my thriving job in India and I was very, very sad about it. I just wanted to go back home. I was deeply rooted in the cultural part of the society. There was a big part that I was missing here. A big corner of my heart yearned for those memories, those moments that I really, really missed.
After six months, we started adjusting to life here. By that time, I had also gotten a job and started part-time studies for grad school.
Things kind of started falling into place.
From the Midwest, I moved to Los Angeles and got a job. That was a turning moment for me. I stayed in Los Angeles for around a year. Once I moved to the Bay Area, which was in early 2002, I felt much more at home. I had friends from school here. I felt I was weaving into the threads of the society here. That was the time I would say that I started feeling a little at home and slowly got ingrained into society. Now the Bay Area is home to me.
How did you maintain your Indian identity and culture after you first arrived in the US?
I never actually thought about it very consciously. It was just a part of me. My mom and my grandmother were religious. I always grew up watching them worship. So, I did the same thing at home. In India, they would always cook Indian food. So I did the same here. I love other cuisines and cook a lot of other cuisines, but something that comes naturally to me is Indian cooking.
I am Bengali, so I know a lot of Bengali dishes. But I grew up in a very metropolitan kind of culture, so I don’t have a specific type of Indian cooking. My cooking is probably a mixture of Punjabi, South Indian, and Marathi.
I loved wearing saris, so that was a big part that I missed here. Back in the early 2000s, there were not many shops around here that I could buy saris from. So, anytime someone was going to India, I would get a few saris. I yearned for and missed wearing saris.
I feel saris are very feminine and very graceful. They have a way of bringing out the personality of a woman. The yarns and threads tell a lot of stories about the weavers from each region. Each sari from each state speaks a different language and tells a different story.
Do you feel more Indian when wearing a sari?
Absolutely. Or, you know, if I’m not wearing a sari, do I not feel Indian? I don’t think so. But the sari makes me feel more at home because I have memories of my mom, my grandmother, and my aunts where when as kids, we would run around and pull their pallu and use it as a towel. It was used as a wiping cloth for tears, as a head covering, and what have you. I have really good memories of all of that.
How did you teach your kids about Indian culture?
I grew up with a lot of my grandma’s stories. So I used to generate those same stories for (my children). They were mythological stories, so they took an interest. I used to get comics and storybooks from India for them, and of course the food and the cuisine. We went back to India every year or every alternate year and had them meet all the extended family. I think that’s how they stayed connected to the Indian culture and traditions. And of course, when we were here, I would take them to festivals or community organizations or the India Independence parade in Fremont.
What connects you to Indian culture now?
At the core of my heart, I am an American, but [also] at the core of my heart, I am still an Indian. My extended family back home, and the food back in India, still appeal to me. I feel a strong bond with the culture and the community there. Even when my kids went back they felt that people in India are much more connected. If someone, a passerby or a stranger, saw another person in need, they would kind of stop and help. The overall sense of humanity and the overall sense of connection between people are so strong, and I think that’s what connects me.
My husband loves to be a part of all these festivals and community events as well. We do keep in touch back home in India with some nonprofit organizations where we actively donate. There’s a large section of people in India who need to be empowered – they are impoverished and fighting for a meal a day. That’s something that we both feel that we have to give back. Through these organizations, that’s how we connect to India as a whole together.
I think I do connect with America more now as I’ve learned the culture more, but I wouldn’t say that my Indian roots have gone away because of that. I call myself as much of an Indian as an American.
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This series was produced by India Currents in collaboration with CatchLight as part of the CatchLight Local CA Visual Desk. Contributors include Vandana Kumar, Meera Kymal, Mabel Jimenez, and Jenny Jacklin-Stratton. Learn more about CatchLight Local’s collaborative model for local visual journalism at https://www.catchlight.io/local
This series was made possible in part by funding provided by the State of California, administered by the California State Library in partnership with the California Department of Social Services and the California Commission on Asian and Pacific Islander American Affairs as part of the Stop the Hate program.
Filoli is a Silver Connection Sponsor for the We Belong series.