With dating, it can seem impossible not to take it too personally when a guy doesn’t call you back. But there are things you can say to yourself to help you take it in stride.

1. It’s okay that I’m bummed, but I don’t have to stay that way.
You’re human. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Do kind things for yourself. Then, when the emotion isn’t serving you, just let it go.

2. My self-worth is not dependent on my relationship status.
Whether single or dating, you are enough. You are valuable and you are worthy of love. Simple as that. Besides, hitching your sense of self-worth onto a relationship is quite a responsibility for two people who are just trying to get to know each other.

3. His opinion of me is valid, but it’s none of my business.
The truth is, he really may not be that into you. And you know something? That’s totally okay. His level of interest (or lack thereof) doesn’t detract from you in any way. It points to the basic truth that we can’t please everyone. Consider that the guy is just seeing things through his personal tastes. You can honor that without putting yourself down in the process.

4. I’m not a mind reader.
There could be tons of reasons why this dude isn’t calling you back. Don’t presume you know why. Notice that when you do try to presume, you tend to go with the worst-case scenario type of thoughts (that is, you weren’t “enough” in some capacity; e.g., interesting, pretty, funny, etc.)

5. What’s meant for me will not pass me by.
Not connecting with someone can sting. What makes that sting worse is if you allow yourself to believe that your “missed connection” was your last true chance for genuine love.

Sometimes, you just have to dig your way through the coal before you can find your diamond. If you meet a guy you don’t end up connecting with, consider yourself that much closer to meeting the one you will.

Jasbina Ahluwalia is the Founder-President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only premier dating coaching firm for Indian singles in the US, Canada and the UK. Jasbina@Intersectionsmatch.com

 

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